Now, if you thought Day 2 was a lot, brace yourself. Today is ceremony day. We began with morning yoga and spoke about our relationship with communicating our needs. Are we comfortable communicating our needs, or do we shy away from asking for help and why? A few guests agreed that as women, we tend to communicate our needs through manipulation (sometimes subconsciously) to avoid appearing “needy”, instead of being direct. We all exchanged a guilty glance. We then ate a gorgeous bowl of homemade granola, coconut, and passionfruit spread. We were advised to avoid any caffeine, medication, alcohol, advil, etc. and it was recommended we relax before the big day. So I skipped my morning coffee and Zoloft and headed to the pool. The other girls joined me as we chatted and sat in comfortable silence. None of us knew what to expect from the ceremonies. One guest shared that she had to leave in the middle of the Sweat Lodge, part of the day’s activities, a few years back because it was too intense. Safe to say we were all a bit anxious. The Shaman, Alejandro, and his wife (who happens to be the midwife I met on Thursday) and their two little girls arrived midafternoon with several bags of blankets, drums, and various props and began to build a fire in the space designated for the Sweat Lodge. “The Sweat Lodge is a traditional Native American purification ceremony also known as  "Inipi" which means "to live again". We gather in a small, round, closed structure, representing the womb of Grandmother Earth. Fire heated rocks are brought into the structure and water is poured on them to create steam for purification. Alejandro chants, sings, and transmutes energy during the sacred experience. The ceremony consists of four rounds of this process representing the four directions, north, east, south, and west.” Each round was about 10 minutes.” ($75, two hours).

I loved watching Alejandro and his family interact. You could feel the love between them as Berenice blew kisses to her girls across the backyard. We began wrapping the igloo-like structure made of sticks and twine in layers of thick blankets to ensure no light would enter, while Alejandro worked with the fire. We could walk around the structure only clockwise and had to leave our shoes behind. We looked like we were walking on coals, cringing every step we took on the gravel. I decided I should probably suck it up when I noticed Alejandro’s girls running around sinking their feet into the rocks as if they were comfortable. They encouraged us to go in with as little clothing as possible or nude. I opted for a bathing suit top and the sarong I had bought in Cambodia over 4 years ago and neglected since. 

For me, it was imperative that while learning about their practice, I find balance in respecting their traditions while honoring my belief system. I felt a great sense of solace when Alejandro explained that we must connect with whatever higher power we believe in for direction and comfort. Whether that be God, Buddha, or the universe.  Alejandro began by lighting himself freshly rolled tobacco and smoking while he and Berenice spoke about what to expect. Some of the many health benefits include regulating hormones, detoxification through the lymphatic system, and central nervous system regulation. 

When I read the description on their website, I remember thinking “Ok cool I love saunas, I do hot yoga 5 days a week and I consider myself somewhat mentally and physically tough.” Yeah, this was no sauna! Once we loaded the stones and closed the door it was pitch black. As steam surrounded every crevice,  Alejandro played the drums. The second round was by far the most difficult. I thought to myself this might be one of the hardest mental and physical challenges I’ve ever experienced. My breathing began to resemble a panic attack coming to fruition. The steam burned my throat and nostrils while I tried to focus. After round two I asked the Shaman if I could leave to get my water and come back to which he retorted “no”. I have to say, once he said that I felt a strange sense of relief. Having that decision taken away from me, I surrendered to the process. I impulsively went into child’s pose, a yoga pose where your knees are wide and ankles are together with your forehead to the ground. I remember the hot mud on the floor feeling cool against my forehead, and finally I regained control of my breath. 

The idea is to let yourself feel pain and struggle. That’s where you gain clarity. I felt somewhat delusional at one point and as though I had lost my sense of time. Alejandro’s girls came in between rounds and gave us a communal horn to drink water. The children were incredibly respectful and well-behaved, entertaining themselves while their parents worked. After round four, we were told to shower and eat lightly before the Cacao Ceremony. 

“This medicinal brew awakens our ancestral memory and allows us to connect with the heart. Alejandro uses shamanic tools and modalities such as drumming, feather cleansing, smudging, and shamanic sound journeying during the experience. The Cacao Ceremony will begin shortly after the Sweat Lodge Ceremony, which will last into the night for about 3-4 hours, depending on the needs of the group.” ($75). 

The Cacao Ceremony began at seven pm. Alejandro used his pendulum to decide where we sat and how much Cacao each person would have. I was tempted to ask why the pendulum advised him to give my mug an extra scoop but refrained. He also gave us buckets in case we needed to vomit. We chugged the mixture and laid down on our mats for what felt like thirty minutes. 1.5 hours later, we had another cup. By this point, one other guest decided to call it a night. I remember feeling very relaxed, but not sleepy. My thoughts and memories were incredibly vivid and it felt like I was spiraling, but not in a negative way. I had a recurring image of interacting with myself as a child as if I were going back in time to babysit myself. (I know, it doesn’t take a retreat to figure out everything is rooted in your childhood, but it was interesting nonetheless). Around ten pm we wrapped up and he opened the floor for discussion. Another guest departed and then there were three. 

Alejandro told one of the volunteers, Meg, that she was ready for Ayahuasca, which was eerie considering I had asked her earlier in the day if she ever considered it. Alejandro and Meg set up a ceremony for the following afternoon. I could not believe how easy it was. I took the opportunity to ask questions about it and highlighted some interesting notes

• No garlic, onion, or intense spices day of 

• No food 3-4 hours prior

• Minimum 4 hour experience 

• Purging (vomiting) is not only expected but necessary for the process

• Interviews are conducted before and after the ceremony with several “check-ins” to make sure you’re processing everything okay

Alejandro said the only reason he’d refuse a ceremony is if a participant’s intentions are not pure (i.e just wanting a trip) or if they have a heart condition. 

We wrapped up around 11 pm and headed to bed; I felt calm but didn't fall asleep till around 1 am.